Tim Tebow Says He’s Still a Virgin, Saving Himself for Marriage

Tim Tebow Says He’s Still a Virgin, Saving Himself for Marriage

We already knew Tim Tebow had the ability to kill a man with a forearm and get popcorn to pop by staring at kernels, now he’s given yet another example of his superhuman powers. The most popular player in SEC history is saving himself for marriage. Unbelievable. I asked him this afternoon, and he didn’t even blink before responding. He handled it masterfully, deftly. He even said he wasn’t surprised to get the question. Talk about unflappable.

There have been famous virgins in the entertainment world before, think Britney Spears (a lie) and A.C. Green (purportedly true), but has there ever been someone like Tebow who has publicly announced he’s a virgin?

I don’t think so.

Cue the angels, strike up the harps, let halos drop from the Heavens while birds chirp. F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “The rich aren’t like you and me.” We’ve all suspected it before, but now we have even further evidence: Tim Tebow isn’t like you and me. He’s better than you and he’s better than me. And I’ll be damned if even me, as big of a Tennessee fan as exists on Earth, can even root against him. I’ll write more on this later, but right now listen to the audio and marvel. Tim Tebow is superhuman in every way.

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2 Responses

  1. The second picture, while appreciated, is not Tebow's girlfriend.

  2. Will you provide link to solo g.friend pic then? Thanks.

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