*I raced cleanly from 1989-July 2001.
*After July 2001, I doped intermittently but consistently (on a macro-level; i.e., season-to-season).
*I created my own logic to justify doping.
*I’m genuinely sorry for the negative effect that my cheating has had on the sport of cycling (in general) and the particular “clean” riders I finished ahead of in those competitions in which I was doped.
*I’m also sorry for having disappointed friends, family, fellow competitors, the country I represented internationally (USA), and the public in general.
*I’ve tried to make practical amends in three ways:
1. Admitting to the relevant authorities the full-scope of my doping.
2. Admitting to the relevant authorities the full-breadth of my knowledge of all aspects of systematic doping in the peloton in general, and on the teams that I was a part of in particular.
3. Speaking honestly and openly about what the topography of the moment was that facilitated my entry into the culture of doping; what the short-term benefits were; and what the profound long-term costs have been (and continue to be).
That’s it. At this point, I’m not going to walk the entire length of the Morgul-Bismarck circuit while self-flagellating, because it’s not practical and besides, it doesn’t compare to the suffering I’ve already dealt myself (as much as that may disappoint some). But make no mistake about it, if I could turn back the clock, I would never have doped.
And that’s the lesson to learn going forward for other athletes who might be faced with the same choices that I erred in resolving.
Filed under: Doping |